Reinventing my relationship with booze
I'm rejoining the sober club for another 90 days, taking me up to my birthday on December 5
I’m in the club – again. No, not that club, I’m over 55; the other club – the sober club.
This time I’m sharing my 90-day booze free challenge on social media. I’m not 100 per cent comfortable with the sharing bit, but “in for a penny in for a pound”. And I’m hoping by doing this I can get a little gang of us ‘grey area’ or ‘middle lane’ drinkers gathered together in a corner of the virtual world so we can chivvy each other along, do some reinventing, and discover something new…
Sharing this wtih friends, I’m being asked: why do you need to stop, why not cut down, and why is that you are calling stopping drinking a challenge, surely you just stop?
First, I love a challenge
I’ll say this again: in for a penny, in for a pound. I’m an in or out person. I cannot resist a challenge (and yes, it is a challenge – see more below), and I love a timeline. These 90 days which started yesterday on Saturday 6 September take me up to my birthday Friday 5th December.
I’ve been here before, and at the beginning of the year I didn’t touch a drop for 85 days (a personal best).
This is a reinvention of my relationship with booze, it may be full time, or I may dabble after December. The thing that matters is the commitment to change and taking the first step.
Why is stopping drinking a challenge?
It’s a hard habit to break. Some say alcohol is the deadliest drug. And even for me, someone who isn’t a “problem drinker”, it’s baked in, it’s part of my Irish DNA. Drinking is something I associate with all the good times and the bad times, the tears and the laughter. The birth of my children, the death of my parents.
It has been part of my life for 42 years – with a couple of breaks for babies, Dry Jans and two almost 90-day breaks (2019 and last year), that’s a solid 40 years.
I have no idea what it’s like to be a non-drinker for a long time or to identify as someone who doesn’t drink. I don’t know if it’s better or worse. Every weekend since aged 15 has been punctuated with beers, wines and quite a lot of weekends have also included hangovers. I’m like the Queen, the French etc… it’s part of my day to day.
Sober Curiosity has got the better of me
I’ve also asked myself am I just wanting to see if the grass is greener? Yes, I am. It’s plain old curiosity, the thing that made me choose journalism as a career. Towards the end of my second marriage, my then husband (who was having an affair at the time), angrily blurted out ‘You’re just so nosy!’ Guilty as charged.
And I’ve found myself curious, yes, sober bloody curious for a good few years.
What’s it like to go out and not drink? Will I really be bored stupid without booze to end the week, fuel socials, manage stressy days? Who am I without booze? And, of course, am I just making a big deal about nothing?
Health and booze
On the practical, health side of things. This isn’t about being the best version of me, it’s about being a bit better. Chris Evans, who I’ve listened to on the radio since time began, stopped drinking in June 2023. Before he stopped, he talked a lot about enzymes and older drinkers, and how booze doesn’t work so well to drink the older you get. It’s true, enzymes which function to clear out the toxins from your liver when you’ve had a drink, are not as punchy or lively as the years roll by. The result, you get pissed quicker, and you take longer to clear out the shit and recover.
Let me sleep!
On top of that there’s the sleep. If I have one big piece of evidence that drinking doesn’t work for me – this, is it – it’s my big ‘why’. Since my late 40s, it’s a guarantee, beer and wine = 3am wake up call, and the anxiety hour. The formula is fixed.
I want to run fast
Then there’s running, I’ve spoken before about diminishing returns as fast times slip away. There’s less to play with – what I got away with at 40 (late nights, early morning long runs) doesn’t cut it at 57.
Life is a ‘reinventure’
And of course, there’s Live To Reinvent, the business I started with my sister, and nephew, four months ago. For the previous two years Clare and I had been talking through ideas, about next chapters and at how at age 60, you’re likely to have 20 last summers.
Could my alcohol free summers stretch that to 40? A neat 50/50 life split: BD (before drinking) and AD (after drinking)? Who knows? The only way to find out is to try, and to break that 85-day record while I’m at it.
Who’s in?
If you want to join, follow us and my daily updates at the Live To Reinvent instagram account. Join our free weekly online 90-day sober challenge workshop by Sending the word DRINK (in true Father Ted style) via DM on Insta.